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Jacob's blog http://babyanimalz.com/community/blogs/jacob en Red Eyes of Destruction http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/red-eyes-destruction <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/1st.jpg" /><br /> There are many things one should avoid in life. Speeding trains, drugs, paying taxes... but bleach white baby animals with glowing red eyes are at the top of the list. When a baby animal ascends to this state he or she is about to cause unprecedented destruction to its surroundings. Ever wondered what happened to the dinosaurs? An asteroid? A meteor? Nope. Babyanimalintologists have proven time and time again that it was in fact a pale white baby animal with glowing red eyes who wiped out the ancient reptiles. So if you see one of these you might as well pet him gently and enjoy the moment.. because you cant possibly get away fast enough to save yourself.</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/red-eyes-destruction#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:43:28 +0000 Jacob 301 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Baby Multiplication http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-multiplication <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/posum1.png" /><br /> When baby animals attack they often destroy their enemies within .2 milliseconds of the initial confrontation. But once in a while they choose to toy with their prey before the eventual feast of flesh. This baby possum is moving so quickly inside this box that there appears (to the untrained eye) to be several baby possums. He is moving at roughly "the speed of light + 1" and in turn, bending the space time continuum around him. The human observer probably thinks there are 14 or 15 baby possums in the box and will therefore (probably) run for his life. When in reality, it is just one crafty possum about to strike.</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-multiplication#comments Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:44:50 +0000 Jacob 298 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Psyche! - You're Dead http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/psyche-youre-dead <p><img src='http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/Foxes_1.jpeg' /><br /> As you probably know, baby animals are the original masters of deception. One of their favorite pastimes is to trick us humans into thinking they are hurt. This baby fox has even gone to the length of putting on a cute pink cast in an effort to confuse his prey. If a man were to approach the fox, the baby animal would first whimper, then a small grin would form at the corners of his mouth. Typically the baby fox would then begin to laugh hysterically and just as the human begins to laugh along with him the fox will devour the man whole in one, maybe two bites. The disguise will then burst into flames and the baby animal will fly into the darkness (still laughing) eager to tell his friends about the silly human he just encountered and digested mid-flight.</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/psyche-youre-dead#comments Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:25:44 +0000 Jacob 292 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Vampires! http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/vampires-0 <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/vampire-bat.jpg" /><br /> Contrary to popular belief, vampires are not mystical humans from Transylvania. In fact they are baby animals often disguising themselves as human. Many Baby Animals enjoy role playing and find the Vampire a particularly appealing character. Flying around, sucking blood, immortality - this is simply a list of "Baby Animal's favorite things to do"! So the next time you're kicking back watching Twilight or Underworld, remember that Vampires are really baby animals role playing. </p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/vampires-0#comments Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:43:47 +0000 Jacob 287 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Baby Hippo Using Mind Control http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-hippo-using-mind-control <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/babyhippo.jpg" /><br /> Most baby animals are proficient in the use of mind control. Whenever you pick up a baby animal, you are performing the will of that baby animal whether you know it or not. In a sense, he is examining you. Baby animals can affect your free will well after you've left their presence. So the next time you make that late night Taco Bell run, ask yourself - am I doing this because I love tacos or am I doing it because a Baby Animal wants me to?</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-hippo-using-mind-control#comments Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:27:12 +0000 Jacob 283 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Baby Dragons http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-dragons <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/dragon-baby.png" />Surely the rarest of all baby animals and consequently - the most fascinating. All baby animals descend from the various colors of dragons. Blue dragons gave birth to the polar animals such as penguins and polar bears while green dragons begat reptiles and toads etc. All baby animals are masters of the magical arts, and most tend to shy away from using their powers in in front of human beings. The dragon, however, has no such hesitation when it comes to destroying major human cities, wiping out ancient armies or laughing historically as a single foolish human in tin "armor" attempts to "slay" him. Fire is a baby dragon's weapon of choice but their powers are not limited to flame. Baby dragons are masters of time, space and the stock market, choosing to use their powers only for the betterment of all Baby Animals.</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-dragons#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 16:09:34 +0000 Jacob 277 at http://babyanimalz.com/community 79 Hot Chicks in a Cramped Room http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/79-hot-chicks-cramped-room <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/HotChicks.png" />The power of Baby Animals in undeniable. But when they get together in large numbers, entire planes of existence are shattered. If you're familiar with the late 90's TV sensation "Power Rangers" or Voltron you'll have a vague idea of what baby animals do when they group up. These hot chicks tricked their human "masters" into putting them all into this unreasonably small box.</p> <p><a href="http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/79-hot-chicks-cramped-room" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/79-hot-chicks-cramped-room#comments Tue, 24 Mar 2009 05:52:26 +0000 Jacob 275 at http://babyanimalz.com/community "There Can Be Only One" http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/there-can-be-only-one-0 <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/puppy-vs-lion-cub-15.jpg" /><br /> Few know that the "Highlander" movies were actually written, directed and acted by Baby Animals. Apart from being better than any human made movie; the series accurately depicts the everlasting struggle for immortality Baby Animals are in every day. This lion cub has just lost a duel to the death to a puppy with superior fighting skills. Fighting/Dueling skills are honed throughout the life of a Baby Animal for these moments of destiny.</p> Fri, 20 Mar 2009 15:34:24 +0000 Jacob 271 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Baby Animals Working Together http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-animals-working-together-0 <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/image2.jpg" /><br /> While most of us would look at this picture and see two different types of baby animals, in reality all Baby Animals share the same spirit. Whether you're snorkeling with baby dolphins or running away from baby gorillas, each and every baby animal is part of the same "baby animal Gia" if you will. Babyanimaltologists have attempted to explain "the great mystery" for thousands of years but, unfortunately for them, it is only understandable by Baby Animals.</p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-animals-working-together-0#comments Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:09:43 +0000 Jacob 267 at http://babyanimalz.com/community Baby Seal about to Attack http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-seal-about-attack <p><img src="http://babyanimalz.com/community/sites/default/files/images/fur-seal-baby.jpg" />Baby Animals are never startled. They know that you're coming before you even know you're coming. But once in a while they like to let you think that you snuck up on them only to turn around and blast you with a barrage of lightning, ice, or other various arcana. In this picture the Baby Seal on the right is just moments away from burying the photographer in an endless wave of destruction. His cohort has a look of "dang man, you'd better start running" on his face.</p> <p><a href="http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-seal-about-attack" target="_blank">read more</a></p> http://babyanimalz.com/community/content/baby-seal-about-attack#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:47:23 +0000 Jacob 262 at http://babyanimalz.com/community